Couples Therapy at Cultivate Connection is Different - Here’s Why
You might have noticed, either by looking at my website and directory pages, or by corresponding with me, that my couples therapy sessions are a very different service from the individual services offered. I thought I might take the opportunity to offer an expansive explanation of how I do couples work and the benefits of doing couples work with me!
My couples sessions are 75-80 minutes, rather than the standard 45 minute therapy session. As you might imagine with that timeframe, more than one client in the therapy room means each person gets less time to speak and be heard by their partner and the therapist. Couples therapy is more likely to be successful when both partners feel they have “airtime” equity. Bi-weekly frequency is most common, especially if one or more partners engages in individual therapy. Weekly can be accommodated if availability allows.
Couples sessions in my practice are primarily composed of structured dialog on shared topics of interest and concern, but also include relationship and intimacy education. The dialogical exercises are designed to help both partners drop defenses and enhance connection. It is an experiential process, and the goal is to build the skills to use these strategies in daily life. Longer session length means each issue or topic can be discussed more thoroughly by both partners.
The Imago model can be tailored to a shorter term course of therapy. This can be especially helpful for pre-martial counseling or for those seeking “stay or go” couples work. Couples set specific goals early on and rapidly learn and practice relational concepts and structured dialog. Therapy “homework” is commonly offered and encouraged to reinforce the work in between sessions.
The relationship is the “client” in my couples therapy sessions. In the health insurance paradigm, if a plan even covers couples therapy, at least one partner must have a mental health diagnosis and the therapy must be centered around treatment of that one partner’s mental health issue. In my experience, this is a harmful and inaccurate premise to begin couples therapy on. Relationships are a system of interactions and experiences by and of both partners, and both partners have individual and shared work to do to build the relationship they need and desire.
Couples sessions are offered on a private pay basis. Sliding scale based on self-reported income is offered, subject to schedule availability. In the future as the practice grows, groups and retreats will be offered semi-annually.
Some couples may wonder, “Has my couples therapist had couples therapy?” or “How do they know it works?” I am proud to share that I trained in Imago therapy after experiencing it myself in couples therapy. The practices my spouse and I learned with our Imago therapist years ago we still use to this day. As a couples therapist, I have observed two categories of success: couples who re-kindle romance and re-commit to the relationship using Imago, and couples who use Imago to discern their needs will better be served elsewhere, and learn how to lovingly let go. Both are valid, both lead to personal growth. Neither can be predicted. Life is too short to feel stuck and wonder. To learn more, use the contact form for a consultation.